These three things are not like each other

Thing Number One:
"Intent to Gratify." Now that's a funny thing with which to be charged. It rivals (one of) my own Bainbridge charges: "possesion of a weapon apparently capable of inflicting harm." That's what a squirt gun gets you on The Rock.

Thing Number Two:
I worked security at a fashion show at ConWorks on Saturday. Had a tough assignment, watching models watch other models while other models modeled clothes. My biggest priority was keeping the entrance to the room clear, in the event we had to evacuate. Then entrance itself was about four feet wide. Thing is, every model walks into a room the same way: they take one step in, do something that gets attention -- like a hair flip -- and then they look around to see whether anyone is looking at them. Multiply that attention seeking behavior by three hundred models, and then divide that into four feet. Hilarity ensues. Thank God there wasn't a fire, as getting that crowd out would have been exactly as easy as putting three hundred cats in a Geo Metro.

Thing Number Three:
My Dad made it through his double bypass surgery last week. He had the surgery Monday, then spent the rest of the week in the hospital. I picked him up on Friday, and took him back to Suquamish. He's happy, healthy and he looks terrific -- if he didn't have a foot-long cut on his chest, you'd never know he was operated on. So how 'bout three cheers for Dennis Harland Berry?