2 Scatter them in the ashtrays of all the coffee shops I don't go to anymore.
3 Compress them into disintegrating 12 gauge hinge-buster slugs. Use the slugs to blast the hinges off a bank's safe. Take the money in the safe. Use the money to pay my many, many debts.
4 Use their eerie glow to light your way on moonless nights.
5 Divide them equally into glass ampules. Wear the ampules around your necks to ward off devils, demons and frat boys.
However, it's all moot, as I intend to be the last man standing. Remember, the rally point is to the left of the biggest fire. I'll meet you there!
2 Comments:
I want Lyle Lovett at my funeral, too.
Here are some things you can do with my ashes:
1 Smoke them.
2 Scatter them in the ashtrays of all the coffee shops I don't go to anymore.
3 Compress them into disintegrating 12 gauge hinge-buster slugs. Use the slugs to blast the hinges off a bank's safe. Take the money in the safe. Use the money to pay my many, many debts.
4 Use their eerie glow to light your way on moonless nights.
5 Divide them equally into glass ampules. Wear the ampules around your necks to ward off devils, demons and frat boys.
However, it's all moot, as I intend to be the last man standing. Remember, the rally point is to the left of the biggest fire. I'll meet you there!
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