The Next Ex-Vortex Exciter

Get your inflatable weapons!

2008-09-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hipsterotica

2008-04-01T23:20:00.000-07:00

Check it. Not sure if they're trying to be funny, but they're doing a fine job of it. . .

Strange vehicles

2008-03-16T13:38:00.003-07:00

Hi everyone!

I'm not sure how much y'all are looking at this anymore, but I had to pass this on:

Click here for a ton of others, plus a lot on that thing. I'm assuming the DirtyBird knows the site by heart already, but hopefully there're a few of you that haven't seen it yet.

Hope you are all well. We should try and plan a big summer BBQ bash, maybe at a park or something.

WTF?

2008-03-08T12:35:00.000-08:00

Advertising at its finest:

It's for a Canadian convenience store drink of course; what were you thinking?

More:

egg
dance
unicorns
robot
hoseleg
whack
testimonials

J.C's Baadasssss Song

2008-02-29T12:21:00.001-08:00

Rap Charts

2008-02-20T22:54:00.000-08:00

2008-01-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

Merry F-ing Christmas!

2007-12-21T11:27:00.000-08:00

Do you enjoy sex?

2007-12-20T22:22:00.000-08:00

It's all in the details

2007-12-13T21:13:00.001-08:00

Fuckin' A, I Think I Can!

2007-12-12T18:23:00.000-08:00

Adding genuine train horns to your jacked up full-size truck is now hot. Hence, the popularity of sites like HornBlasters.com. You need to do this for, um, safety purposes.

Syphlis is ADORABLE!!!

2007-12-03T14:39:00.000-08:00

Modern Skeet

2007-11-30T08:50:00.000-08:00

Geez, I miss Omak.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-19T23:16:00.000-08:00

Get your glue gun, it's time to make a Tampon Thanksgiving Turkey.

Hard Knights

2007-11-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Or should I say, hard mornings?
Dirtybird has a new alarm. And it has been screwing with my head. Take a trip back in time!

Lake go funny boom boom

2007-11-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

Howtoons

2007-10-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

I saw a write-up on this in the latest issue of Wired. " ...clear step–by–step instructions ... (for how to) create a marshmallow shooting gun, make ice cream without a freezer, play songs on a turkey baster flute ... launch a pressure–powered rocket":

... and I thought of you all.

Don't pull out! Don't pull out!

2007-10-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

Cos you prolly aren't home on Saturday Night (Live)

2007-10-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

Seriously, one of the funniest things. Ever. And I ran...

Oh, Jesus.

2007-10-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

The Little Lebowskis

2007-09-14T12:23:00.002-07:00

This and other prototypes can be found here. Hopefully they fix the tanning mishap of the talking models.
And for some reason I thought there was a miniature rug you could buy with it to really tie the bookshelf together. I guess not, Dude.

Happy Bornday Dirtybird!

2007-09-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

MWMIK - OMGWTFROTFLBBQ!!?!1

2007-09-09T12:25:00.001-07:00

Well, I also want one of these:

I am no longer in vehicle sales

2007-09-04T10:34:00.000-07:00

ETA: Background on the man, the myth, the legend:

Jack Rebney

Walk it out

2007-08-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, enough with the Yankee Tango hip hop, right? But this is a good remix of a mediocre song feat. Andre 3000, and you gotta love the hip style on these ladies!! Now walk it out.

Business Reply

2007-08-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

So right.

Finally, I am happy at home.

2007-08-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

So wrong.

Important documentary

2007-08-18T14:00:00.000-07:00

Japanarobics

2007-08-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

Exercise and learn English "You can use!"™
I love Japanese television (at least what's exported via YouTube). It's a surreal mix of Public Access and hallucinogens.

Randy Newman - A Few Words in Defense of Our Country

2007-08-09T15:55:00.000-07:00

How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

2007-08-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

I also recommend 'DOA Motorcycle' by the same group. Fucking awesome.

Tactical Grilling

2007-07-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

How is it that I don't already have a tactical beer shingle strapped on? I mean, it's PALS/MOLLE compatible, and it holds beer. Granted, I'm working on a lower key look, but that thing is cool!

End times, my friend.

2007-07-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

WalMart is going to start selling faith-based action figures. Here's the BBC story.

Nurturers With Additude

2007-07-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

I guess this a social commentary on modern rap. But I think it's good advice for all!!
...where'd I put that Deathly Hollows , m@ther F#(Ker.

NSFW

I will sing you the song of Bacon

2007-07-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

Bacon Salt makes everything taste like bacon.

Bacon of the month. An artisan bacon delivered to your doorstep each month.

Chicken Fried Bacon:

Now THAT'S a Lego aircraft carrier!

2007-07-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

Check out the rest of that site for some more great shots of random but amusing stuff.

The Cramps and Bettie Page

2007-07-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

A little something for everyone. But mostly, I must top that yucky, yucky dog.

Canis Erectus Onanismus

2007-07-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

cool cat lookin' for a kitty

2007-07-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

Screw Attack!!

2007-07-05T22:52:00.001-07:00

But was it... MURDER?!?

2007-06-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

Also, hearty congrats to the Berrys. Can't wait to see you guys!

Rich Boy is a popular 'rap' artist.

2007-06-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

Christ on a Crutch!

2007-06-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

Just what are you people doing with your lives,anyway? Working? Playing with your kids? Spending 'quality time' with the missus? Because this blog is deadsville. Christ on a crutch, people--I had a baby to have something exciting to post! Can't you come up with something titillating? Paul Allen in a Speedo, maybe? Geez. Shame on you.

Rachel Elizabeth Berry, 05/12/2007, 22:25

2007-05-18T16:24:00.000-07:00

We're pleased to confirm the existence of our newest addition, Rachel Elizabeth Berry.

She was born 8 pounds 11 ounces, and 20 inches. After she came out, Frank came on the radio and sang "Luck be a Lady."

It was a long wait, but it was all worth it.

Welcome, daughter. It sure is nice to meet you.

2007-05-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

I'm an infrastructure dork from way back, so it's possible that only I would really enjoy this story. But to the right you'll find a link to pictures of WSDOT's yearly herculean effort to clear the North Cascades Highway of snow.

Pretty damn incredible job, all told. I can't quite decide whether it's impressive, or ridiculous that we do this every year. Maybe it's both?

Plus, you get to see a snow doughnut.

Our allies, in the Global War on Terror (GWOT)

2007-05-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

Speaking of. . .

2007-04-28T22:37:00.001-07:00

Chimps With Attitude, now that's a rap group name for the ages! Not like The 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time.

Tom and Oprah

2007-04-28T15:20:00.000-07:00

2007-04-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

While watching the jungle episode of "Planet Earth" on the Discovery Channel, the narrator (sexy human/Alien hybrid, Sigourney Weaver) spoke of a "posse of chimpanzees".

I was really hoping that a group of chimps was called a "Posse".
It turns out they aren't, but, I found out this other cool stuff.

A Charm of Finches
An Unkindness of Ravens
LINK IS HERE

Daisey and the fundamentalists

2007-04-23T23:10:00.000-07:00

For them what hadn't heard, the Christians rose against Mike.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

2007-04-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

A gun is a tool no better or no worse than any other tool. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.

-Alan Ladd, "Shane"

Turn it up!

2007-04-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

Will it blend?

2007-04-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

Dirtybird is Depressed

2007-04-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

As one or two of you may know, I enjoy guns, pyrotechnics, and assorted other kinds of manly fun. This "Internet" business has been a boon to those proclivities; I can find information, and also other people who enjoy the same unusual hobbies I do.

I've been posting here and there on various discussion boards, talking to these other fellows about a host of issues, mostly related to gear or guns. Recently, I found the discussion boards at Kifaru - the makers of the coolest backpacks and pouches I've ever seen.

At the Kifaru boards, I've gotten into some politicial discussions. I just finished one there that depressed me all to hell. In it, I argued for respect, tolerance, cooperation, and compromise. For that, I pretty much got my ass handed to me. Amongst these fellows, there can be no compromise.

Anyway, if you feel like a long, pointless read with a depressing ending, here it is:

Muse - Knights Of Cydonia

2007-04-01T19:31:00.000-07:00

Now that's what I call a music video!

Flash video version

High-quality QuickTime version

They grow up so fast these days...

2007-03-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

Sweet, salty nut! Two Bainbridge girls are under arrest for trying to poison their teacher. Check it:

More LOLCats

2007-03-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

That's right folks - a blog devoted to cat pics with captions!

I hate it,I love it.

2007-03-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

I just have to share this terrible, awful, earworm of a song. It is so so bad, that it somehow rules, and I am so ashamed.
Bonus! Snoop Dogg french inhaling. Seriously.

All Hail the Mighty Gourd!

2007-03-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

Angry Samoans Comix!

2007-03-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

Tenacity, thy name is rebar

2007-03-05T10:38:00.000-08:00

So I missed this story until my brother sent it to me. Apparently a local statue of Leif Erikson was slated to be moved from its current location to a new memorial honoring Scandanavian immigrants - my people.

When work crews set out to cut old Leif down, they ran into trouble. There was far more rebar than they expected, some inch thick reinforcing rods they didn't know about, and also several thousand pounds of concrete in one of the statue's legs. They finally got Leif moved Saturday, but he hung on to his plinth for days with a mute tenacity.

This story makes me very happy, and not just because I'm named after his father. I've always wondered why I can be so Goddamn bullheaded about stuff. If this statue is any indication, I'm not the only stubborn Scandanavian with an axe.

Way to go Leif. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Why Mommy is Sick to her Stomach.

2007-03-02T14:14:00.000-08:00

Golly, I am a good liberal. I really am. Why do they keep pushing me to become a Dittohead? Why?

In my language

2007-02-23T08:47:00.000-08:00

My good friends Deb and Tim have two boys diagnosed in the 'autistic spectrum'. Deb sent this link. It is wildly thought provoking, not only about how we judge and perceive autistic people, but everyone we meet, based on our understanding of normal.Check it out:

Tromix!

2007-02-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

This company builds
custom Saiga shotguns;

a Russian shotgun,
based on the Kalashnikov.

I enjoy to look at them.

Well, this is awesome

2007-02-20T20:18:00.000-08:00

Notice that the title is "Awesome Cannon Montage"

...and as I officially decline the gracious cabin invitation, I only hope that you fools have as much fun up there as these fools did making this. Man, I'm gunna miss it.

In the category of Strange Things I Didn't Know 10 Minutes Ago:

2007-02-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

Apparently, there's something special about the note of B flat. Play it to a male alligator and he'll bellow back at you. No one knows why, he just does it. Only for B flat. And, just to increase the strange factor, there's a black hole out there that is more or less humming to a nearby gas cloud, humming in the frequency of B flat.

Sort of makes one want to go around with a B flat and see what else out there sings back...

Free laptop, but the offer has strings...

2007-02-12T11:59:00.000-08:00

As if you needed another reason to wish you were a child in the third world, a program conceived by MIT academics is rolling out a program called "One Laptop per Child." They're looking to give laptops to loads of kids in developing countries.

Pretty neat looking machines - kinda bare bones, with an on board crank generator, and some kind of local wireless network so you don't need the Inter-Web to trade files in the same room, or hut, or what have you.

Paul Wolfowitz has no mother

2007-02-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

This one's for the Dirty Bird...

2007-02-02T19:28:00.000-08:00

They's just regular folk like you and me.

Public Service Announcement

2007-01-30T22:52:00.000-08:00

Gukanjima

2007-01-29T22:04:00.000-08:00

I've found the perfect island hide-out, off the shore of Japan. It's a bit of a fixer upper, but I bet it shines up like a new penny!

Youtube Howser M.D.

2007-01-29T21:21:00.000-08:00

Oooof. I'm sore from laughing. It's probably not THAT funny. But I hit it at the right time of day with the right blood-sugar levels. Even better seen twice!!

Also the not so safe for work ALF.

The Next Ex-Vortex Exciter

2007-01-26T02:42:00.000-08:00

The Next Ex-Vortex Exciter

Sportsman Bear

2007-01-22T08:41:00.000-08:00

One of the fun things about having a baby is getting to go toy shopping again.

I intend to see to it that my child knows the importance of keeping and arming bears!

ASAT

2007-01-18T14:31:00.000-08:00

This is an interesting read, in my 'umble opine:

Chinese Test ASAT?

Not to mention the root site; lots 'o' meaty tids in there.

Obligatory blog post eye candy:

schoolboard@fwps.org

2007-01-16T12:13:00.000-08:00

That's the email address for the Federal Way School Board. I'd encourage y'all to drop them a line. They should know that we're not all Frosty Hardison's out here. Here's my email:

To Whom It May Concern:

I'm writing you today to express my profound disappointment in your decision to severely limit the circumstances under which your students may view the recent documentary "An Inconvenient Truth." This is a dunder-headed decision of the highest possible magnitude.

The facts presented in the documentary are just that - facts. The idea that humans have changed the Earth's climate is now an accepted scientific fact, and has been endorsed by all accepted, accredited, legitimate scientific bodies.

In fact the only "scientists" who deny a human impact on Earth's climate are thinly-veiled paid shills for various resource-extraction companies, whose research methods have been examined and scorned by all legitimate scientific bodies. You'll hear less and less from these shills, because even oil companies have started to face facts, and have accordingly ended their support for their former propaganda artists.

I gather the impetus for your poorly considered decision came from an email you received from one "Frosty Hardison." I gather further that Mr. Hardison, father of seven (!) is a creationist, who believes the Earth is 14,000 years old.

In caving to Mr. Hardison's demands that you not expose his many, many children to views that contradict his own, you have displayed a truly notable lack of moral courage. You have bent over backward to accomodate a man who lives his life by the precepts laid down by the elders of a wandering, Sephardic tribe from several thousand years ago. In so bending, you chose to ignore the intervening thousands and thousands of years of scientific progress; however haphazard said progress has been.

Even worse, you've tried to mask the true effect of your actions behind doublespeak. One of your members even went so far as to suggest that limiting speech - by restricting "An Inconvenient Truth" - actually encouraged debate. I was not surprised to learn this board member was an attorney. Only an attorney could come up with such a piece of non-sensical frippery.

What's next? What other Christian precepts will you choose to impose on your student body? Your decision is one more paving stone on the road to a theocracy. I am shocked, dismayed, and angered by your decision. From here on out, when I hear the words, "Federal Way" I will think "ignorant, cowardly, Janus-faced appeasers."

Good luck with your decision. You will surely need it.

Kansas, meet Federal Way

2007-01-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

Turns out "An Inconvenient Truth" isn't truthy enough for the Federal Way School District. Read all about it!

Buy Sealand

2007-01-13T20:52:00.001-08:00

Looks like a bunch of information-wants-to-be-free zealots are out to buy our favorite micronation!

Action Squad

2007-01-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

I don't remember if anyone has sent this link out yet. . . If not, well, it's about time.

I'll see you underground!

What We Know

2007-01-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

It's becoming a bit of a tradition for me to mark the changing of the calendar year by reviewing the BBC's annual list of 100 things we didn't know last year.

The highlights of 2006:

In the "Language is weird" category:
Panspermia is the idea that life on Earth originated on another planet.
The medical name for the part of the brain associated with teenage sulking is "superior temporal sulcus".
The clitoris derives its name from the ancient Greek word kleitoris, meaning "little hill".
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobiacs is the term for people who fear the number 666.

In the "Faith in My Government" category:
US Secret Service sniffer dogs are put up in five-star hotels during overseas presidential visits.
In the 1960s, the CIA used to watch Mission Impossible to get ideas about spying.
George W. Bush's personal highlight of his presidency is catching a 7.5lb (3.4kg) perch.

In the "Useless Trivia" category:
The lion costume in the film Wizard of Oz was made from real lions.
Sex workers in Roman times charged the equivalent price of eight glasses of red wine.
Cows can have regional accents, says a professor of phonetics, after studying cattle in Somerset.
The Himalayas cover one-tenth of the Earth's surface.

And finally:
In Bhutan, government policy is based on Gross National Happiness; thus most street advertising is banned, as are tobacco and plastic bags.

wassail \WAH-sul; wah-SAYL\, noun:

2006-12-24T16:45:00.000-08:00

1. An expression of good wishes on a festive occasion, especially in drinking to someone.
Happy Christmas, y'all.

Skinarian Bling

2006-12-21T23:09:00.000-08:00

Say it with fake fake teeth

2006-12-21T10:31:00.000-08:00

You have to love this grillz phenomenon. If there's a better way to say, "I'm a mixed-up young man, with poorly-thought-out priorities" I sure don't know what it is.

Moondog, you can also get yourself a new pimp cup at this site.

Loving you is easy, 'cause you're beautiful...

2006-12-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

So I was trying to find pictures of a UAV recovery vehicle, to show Gnat that everything old is new again. I dropped by fas.org, which is about as interesting a site as the DirtyBird could ever hope to find. Got sidetracked by an interesting article about where our nukes are currently being stored.

Turns out, we've still got 10,000 nuclear warheads. Regional chauvinists will be pleased to note that the single largest concentration of them is right here at home, at Sub Base Bangor. Say WA!

Lots of interesting stuff in the article - a google maps tour of the storage facilities, lots of background on where we used to keep our nukes, and a terrific Q&A section at the end. Well done, Mr. Kristensen.

In addition... "The League of Extraordinary Vehicles"

2006-12-01T22:07:00.000-08:00

East Coast Rover!

2006-11-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

For # 4,567 in my Trucks The DirtyBird Cannot Afford series, I present to you East Coast Rover.

These guys specialize in high end Land Rover restorations. They also do diesel conversions, and will happily replaced your Rover's frame with a snappy new galvanized frame.

I have not found any prices on this site. Also, I have not looked for any prices on this site.

ShitFire!

EarthRoamer

2006-11-28T21:35:00.000-08:00

The slideshows are pretty neat.

l33t d4ngr!!!1

2006-11-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

Battle of the Bands

2006-11-20T21:14:00.000-08:00

Watch it!

this truck would dominate

2006-11-18T20:57:00.000-08:00

You call that a LEGO trencher?

2006-11-18T11:17:00.000-08:00

Now this is a LEGO trencher:

You call that a trencher?

2006-11-16T21:29:00.000-08:00

Now this is a trencher:

Holy Fuck

2006-11-16T21:04:00.000-08:00

2006-11-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

Best... Idea... Evar....

Wish we had wild turkeys around here, as I'm not sure how much meat is on them sparrows or whatever they call themselves these days.

Mmmmm....

Ok, so it's not Star Wars...

2006-11-06T09:30:00.000-08:00

... nor is it mythological creatures, but, still, "Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?" is an interesting question. My results:

You scored as III - The Empress. The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects. She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better. Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

Not that that's a surprise to anyone, I'm sure.

Little Superstar

2006-11-05T23:19:00.000-08:00

Ceiling Cat

2006-11-03T10:16:00.000-08:00

I hate myself for liking these.

...via neatorama

An awesome spam

2006-10-30T08:26:00.000-08:00

So lately, I've been getting some awesome spam. The one appended below is a new version of the old Nigerian wire transfer scam. But it's been updated to reflect a more recent sad African story - that of the white farmers in Zimbabwe. I thought it was interesting enough to share:

Subject : Mrs Teressa Stevens.

Dear Beloved One,

In a brief, I am Mrs Teressa Stevens, Wife of late Mr Stevens James, a white farmer, murdered by unknown assailants 2003 in Zimbabwe.

My husband was a white farmer in Zimbabwe who was brutally murdered in the land dispute in Zimbabwe by the agents of the ruling government of President ROBERT MUGABE for his alleged support and sympathy for the opposition MDC PARTY led by the minority white farmers. My husband was among the few white rich farmers murdered in cold blood by the war veterans backed by the government. Before the death of my husband, he deposit the sum of US$20.5M (Twenty Million Five hundred thousand United State Dollars) with one of the Financial Institution, as if he knew the looming danger in ZIMBABWE. We were married for twelve years and Gob blessed us with two children.

Presently this money is still with the Financial Institution. Recently, my Doctor told me that I might not last for the next Eight months due to an inflammation of my liver. This has led to my being on 24 hours intensive care, in a private clinic here in Cotonou Rep. of Benin. I am tired of living like this.

I have decided to donate part of this fund to an individual, group or a charity organisation that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein while half of the money shall be kept for the betterment of my children. I want an individual, or Charity Organisation that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, and helping land mine victims worldwide.

I took this decision because my husband's relatives are Trouble Makers and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used for trivialities I do not want a situation where my husband's sweat will be used in material pursuits. This is why I am taking this decision.

Please ensure to contact me immediately to enable me direct you to to the Financial Institution where the fund was deposited and awaiting claim for you to contact the firm immediately for the release and transfer of the fund into your account.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hope to receive your reply.

Remain blessed.

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs Teressa Stevens.

Awesome!

Reading Material

2006-10-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

I put together this page for a client of mine last night and thought a few folks here might find interesting reading material on it. My client is a former instructor at Quantico and is currently consulting on and teaching "Emergency Preparedness" in New York. Evacuations, hazardous material release, dirty bombs, civil disturbances, FEMA, CDC, and NIMS. Enjoy!

Thriller... Thiller niiight....

2006-10-12T10:07:00.000-07:00